It's All Their Fault

Of all the different types of bugs in the world I think the one that would be scariest if it was 100 times bigger is a dragonfly. Especially if it could sting people.

Spiders aren't bugs.

I think poker and dancing are two essential skills for boys and girls to learn.

I wish I lived somewhere where it rained 75% of the time.

After all my years of higher education in English I still don't know if the above sentence needs to have 'where' in it.

Water is usually my favorite thing to drink.

Sometimes I order something other than water in a restaurant even when I really want water.

If I was rich I still wouldn't buy expensive cars.

Bees and wasps don't count because they're already scary enough.

Ticks would also be scary. And mosquitos. Pretty much anything that could suck your blood.

I really like monsters and the old-school horror flicks.

If I was a monster I'd want to be a werewolf.

I have never read Twilight and I never will but I hate it for what it did to the next generation's understanding of vampires and werewolves.

Vampires don't sparkle. They are hideous monsters. Watch Nosferatu.

I wonder if bats would still eat bugs if the bugs were 100 times bigger. How would bats survive?

I don't think bats are designed to eat plankton.

I wonder if I ever eat plankton inadvertently when I swim at the beach.

What if when I get really old and my teeth all rot out of my skull the vogue thing to do is to get baleen dentures.

I blame Environmentalists for baleen dentures.