Confessions (part 1)

1. When I'm really excited about something and anticipating what's going to happen next (like when someone is telling a really intriguing story that I know is going to end with something hilarious) I hang my mouth open in expectation and involuntarily make seagull noises. I hardly ever notice it but people catch me and make fun of me for it.

2. I like books. Like, a lot. When I was little and I misbehaved (probably only once or twice... probably) my mom would spank me and send me to my room and tell me I couldn't look at any books. The 'no books' part was the worst. I was probably the only boy in the history of childhood who had copies of The Bernstein Bears hidden under his mattress.

3. I think the ultimate job would be a traveling food critic. I mean, c'mon, getting paid to travel to awesome places eating food and then writing about it? Sign me up.

4. I would be the worst food critic in the world. A typical article of mine would be something like: "To put my overall satisfaction of this dish into perspective I would say it was somewhere between re-heated Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Jack-In-The-Box tacos. Also, the stain from the marinara sauce came out of my T-shirt quite easily so no worries there."

5. Some of my favorite possessions: my T-shirts, my books, and my ukulele. Well, that's pretty much all I own anyway.

6. A lot of my dreams are about shortcuts between places. Like when I used to live in San Jose I used to dream a lot that there was some secret orchard that I could enter on the San Jose side and end up in Hilmar. Of course, Hilmar isn't exactly where I wanted to be but it was closer. I guess my dreams are just too realistic. A couple nights ago I dreamed there was a bus-boat (I didn't care that those don't exist) that would pick me up and sail-motor around a corner and I'd be in New York City. I blame Morning Guy for most of my crazy space-time continuum dreams.

7. When I'm sitting down I usually can convince myself that I can do Kung Fu. It's only when I stand up that I realize gravity is a lot heavier than it used to be.

8. I watch more educational videos on YouTube than anyone else you know.

9. I actively try to remember as much as possible.

10. I hate filling out electronic paperwork. Most of things I think I should write in the spaces provided turns out to be wrong. And then when they leave you with no option but the little pull-down menus the thing I'm looking for is never there. And it kills me when I fill it all out and then submit it only to have it be sent back with a message telling me to fix one of the boxes and EVERYTHING ELSE is erased and I have to do it All. Over. Again.