(figuratively)
(...alright, not even figuratively)
1. I can play the radio
2. I can eat almonds without dying
3. I can smell bacon from my bedroom in the morning (even if there is no bacon cooking in the house)
4. I can sleep through my alarm clock
5. Sometimes I can go over three hours without going crazy
6. I can lose my iPod, my keys, and my shoes at the most inopportune times
7. Even if there is only one pile of cat crap in a gigantic park I will find it first by stepping in it and smearing it all over the bottom of my shoe so bad I have to burn my shoes and bury them in the backyard
8. On a good day it only takes me five or six times to run out of the garage without tripping or triggering the safety sensor as the door is closing
9. I can make any moment (no matter how fun or exciting) incredibly awkward for everyone within a four mile radius
10. I can blow little bubbles of saliva off the tip of my tongue (it's something)
4. I can sleep through my alarm clock
5. Sometimes I can go over three hours without going crazy
6. I can lose my iPod, my keys, and my shoes at the most inopportune times
7. Even if there is only one pile of cat crap in a gigantic park I will find it first by stepping in it and smearing it all over the bottom of my shoe so bad I have to burn my shoes and bury them in the backyard
8. On a good day it only takes me five or six times to run out of the garage without tripping or triggering the safety sensor as the door is closing
9. I can make any moment (no matter how fun or exciting) incredibly awkward for everyone within a four mile radius
10. I can blow little bubbles of saliva off the tip of my tongue (it's something)
I just saw this five minutes after you posted it.
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