My Christmas List (A Rough Draft)

I realize that it is still early November (not as early as it was yesterday, though) and a Christmas list this early might be frowned upon by some people.

But I say "Hey, naysayers! Whatever a 25-year-old child and his computer do on a blog that nobody visits is his own business."

Ok. 

By the way, how did all you naysayers find this blog anyway? It has yet to be unveiled to the general public.

Disclaimer: Everything I write on this list is true though not everything is practical. I know that. And I don't expect anyone to get me anything I just want you all to know the types of things I really want for Christmas (notice the resounding lack of 'calendar' and things like 'shirts that were on clearance' or 'pieces of plastic fruit').

I really like the idea of having cool bookends. You all know how much I love my books but I do not own (nor have I ever owned) bookends. Also, I really like the old classical libraries where they have busts of famous old people above shelves. It actually used to be the way libraries organized books before some genius said "Y'all never heard of numbers b'fore?" I don't know where people would go about finding cool busts of Athena (probably shouldn't google that) but if there was some zombie-apocalypsed library out there with busts lying about grab one for me, will ya?

Also, Michael Lugo got a home-made panda bear with a guitar and I'm still waiting for a fox playing a ukulele or a banjo or something like that. If I could make them myself I would. Just sayin'.

I also like corndogs and cool drawings or paintings made by people who are 'not good at drawing'.

A cool puppet like the ones they have on Wombatron.

A theremin. I could honestly rule the world if I had a theremin and everyone else fell over dead leaving me keys to their valuables.

I really want a water softener because I'm--how should I say--a wimp. A delicate wimp.

And a key to the library. Like, a key to all the libraries.