Holidays and Time Machines

I really want to find a cheap (like, free-cheap) piano to put in my room. But I'm lazy and my car is small so I don't want to go get it from somewhere, I just want it to appear suddenly in my room like a time machine roaring back from its latest adventure to the time when some city you've never heard of was scraped off the face of the earth into the deepest parts of the sea.

The fact that we don't have a time machine made yet only tells me that the future is so much brighter than the past.

I have a room of my own in my house. But it's messy because I don't have anything cool to put in it. I just have junk to put in it and no matter how you look at junk it's still going to be junk. So it's arranged in a fashion befitting of junk. The traditional heap.

Time machines are going to be reverse engineered from a time machine that comes home from the future. Only, we haven't yet made it to any point in history truly worth coming home from. That's my theory, anyway.

But I'm looking forward to Christmas and Thanksgiving and the spectrum of holiday that falls between them. Maybe I'll get a piano. Or a time machine.

If I had the time machine I think I would want to go back and watch myself experience Christmas in my earliest years. I was blessed with a family that celebrates Christmas for what it is. So my face may not have shone quite as bright as other kids' may have on Christmas morning and our tree may have been a little more plastic than most trees and our boxes may have been a bit more scarce. But our Christmas was, and is, holy. And the days ahead are as bright as the days behind. Can I be thankful for that this year?

My Christmas List (A Rough Draft)

I realize that it is still early November (not as early as it was yesterday, though) and a Christmas list this early might be frowned upon by some people.

But I say "Hey, naysayers! Whatever a 25-year-old child and his computer do on a blog that nobody visits is his own business."

Ok. 

By the way, how did all you naysayers find this blog anyway? It has yet to be unveiled to the general public.

Disclaimer: Everything I write on this list is true though not everything is practical. I know that. And I don't expect anyone to get me anything I just want you all to know the types of things I really want for Christmas (notice the resounding lack of 'calendar' and things like 'shirts that were on clearance' or 'pieces of plastic fruit').

I really like the idea of having cool bookends. You all know how much I love my books but I do not own (nor have I ever owned) bookends. Also, I really like the old classical libraries where they have busts of famous old people above shelves. It actually used to be the way libraries organized books before some genius said "Y'all never heard of numbers b'fore?" I don't know where people would go about finding cool busts of Athena (probably shouldn't google that) but if there was some zombie-apocalypsed library out there with busts lying about grab one for me, will ya?

Also, Michael Lugo got a home-made panda bear with a guitar and I'm still waiting for a fox playing a ukulele or a banjo or something like that. If I could make them myself I would. Just sayin'.

I also like corndogs and cool drawings or paintings made by people who are 'not good at drawing'.

A cool puppet like the ones they have on Wombatron.

A theremin. I could honestly rule the world if I had a theremin and everyone else fell over dead leaving me keys to their valuables.

I really want a water softener because I'm--how should I say--a wimp. A delicate wimp.

And a key to the library. Like, a key to all the libraries.

Looking Forward

I have a CSET this Saturday. Hopefully it will be my last one. I tried to take four in one day the first time (which everyone advised against). Of course, as fate would have it, I passed every part of every section of every sub-test except for the last essay on the last section of the last sub-test.

Because the universe is a cruel, cruel mistress.

I don't believe in fate. And I know the 'universe' is not in control of anything. I just like calling her a cruel mistress.


It's difficult to look forward to things when there's so much in the way. Like, it'll be fun to be a teacher eventually but all these tests and classes and exams and observations and homework and forms and everything are really dragging me down.

Maybe I should have majored in philosophy or art so I could just starve to death for the rest of my life instead of becoming a teacher. Nah, starving sounds even less fun. Because I'm hungry.

I'm really looking forward to the winter. I have a feeling we'll actually get some wintery weather this year (O! How I've missed thee!). It should be fun. Let me know what you're looking forward to in the comments below.

Also, I need a Winter Movie list so if you have any suggestions let me know in the comments. And remind me to make a post about movies for next time so you don't end up reading all about the musings of a California credential candidate. Dang. Elections are coming up, too. Why did I waste my time writing about CSETs? Oh yeah. Because the universe is a cruel, cruel mistress.

This Crazy Dream I Had

Of all the crazy dreams I've had for some reason I can't shake the one of my playing piano in Time Square.

Also, I thought this might be a good time to start experimenting with YouTube channels and videos.

I heart NY

A Letter to My Shirt

Dear shirt,

I know it has been a while since we've talked and I'm sorry about that. To be honest, I really miss having you around. I look at old pictures from time to time and see us turning heads and looking awesome together. The hardest part for me is knowing that it wouldn't take much to be back in that place again.

You have a stain.

I know you know that but I can see that it's hard for you to admit it. It doesn't have to be like this. I bought you for a reason. When you are in the condition that you were made to be in--when you're clean and presentable--you are effective and we work well together. But when you've got that gross stain across your front there's not much I can do with you. The stain makes you hardly effective as a shirt at all.

Sure, I could wear you under a sweater and let the collar pop out the top and people might recognize how awesome we look together again but that is not what I bought you for. That's not why I kept you. That's not what you were made for. You were made and bought and washed and kept to make me look good and I can't help but think about your condition. It's keeping you from your only purpose.

It wouldn't be difficult. Sure, you'd have to give up that stain. And why would you keep it? It has ruined you and as long as it remains you remain ineffective. Let me wash you and scrub the spots off. I already have the detergent. There is no stain I cannot get rid of. Please.

Sincerely,

Joel

Confessions (part 1)

1. When I'm really excited about something and anticipating what's going to happen next (like when someone is telling a really intriguing story that I know is going to end with something hilarious) I hang my mouth open in expectation and involuntarily make seagull noises. I hardly ever notice it but people catch me and make fun of me for it.

2. I like books. Like, a lot. When I was little and I misbehaved (probably only once or twice... probably) my mom would spank me and send me to my room and tell me I couldn't look at any books. The 'no books' part was the worst. I was probably the only boy in the history of childhood who had copies of The Bernstein Bears hidden under his mattress.

3. I think the ultimate job would be a traveling food critic. I mean, c'mon, getting paid to travel to awesome places eating food and then writing about it? Sign me up.

4. I would be the worst food critic in the world. A typical article of mine would be something like: "To put my overall satisfaction of this dish into perspective I would say it was somewhere between re-heated Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Jack-In-The-Box tacos. Also, the stain from the marinara sauce came out of my T-shirt quite easily so no worries there."

5. Some of my favorite possessions: my T-shirts, my books, and my ukulele. Well, that's pretty much all I own anyway.

6. A lot of my dreams are about shortcuts between places. Like when I used to live in San Jose I used to dream a lot that there was some secret orchard that I could enter on the San Jose side and end up in Hilmar. Of course, Hilmar isn't exactly where I wanted to be but it was closer. I guess my dreams are just too realistic. A couple nights ago I dreamed there was a bus-boat (I didn't care that those don't exist) that would pick me up and sail-motor around a corner and I'd be in New York City. I blame Morning Guy for most of my crazy space-time continuum dreams.

7. When I'm sitting down I usually can convince myself that I can do Kung Fu. It's only when I stand up that I realize gravity is a lot heavier than it used to be.

8. I watch more educational videos on YouTube than anyone else you know.

9. I actively try to remember as much as possible.

10. I hate filling out electronic paperwork. Most of things I think I should write in the spaces provided turns out to be wrong. And then when they leave you with no option but the little pull-down menus the thing I'm looking for is never there. And it kills me when I fill it all out and then submit it only to have it be sent back with a message telling me to fix one of the boxes and EVERYTHING ELSE is erased and I have to do it All. Over. Again.

Creation v. Innovation

Does it require more talent to create or to take what is created and innovate?

Or are innovation and creativity different types of talent?

Is the success of a band based on talent or marketing?

I think that last one is pretty dang obvious.

Is it worth it to destroy something in order to create/innovate?