Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Looking Forward
I have a CSET this Saturday. Hopefully it will be my last one. I tried to take four in one day the first time (which everyone advised against). Of course, as fate would have it, I passed every part of every section of every sub-test except for the last essay on the last section of the last sub-test.
Because the universe is a cruel, cruel mistress.
I don't believe in fate. And I know the 'universe' is not in control of anything. I just like calling her a cruel mistress.
It's difficult to look forward to things when there's so much in the way. Like, it'll be fun to be a teacher eventually but all these tests and classes and exams and observations and homework and forms and everything are really dragging me down.
Maybe I should have majored in philosophy or art so I could just starve to death for the rest of my life instead of becoming a teacher. Nah, starving sounds even less fun. Because I'm hungry.
I'm really looking forward to the winter. I have a feeling we'll actually get some wintery weather this year (O! How I've missed thee!). It should be fun. Let me know what you're looking forward to in the comments below.
Also, I need a Winter Movie list so if you have any suggestions let me know in the comments. And remind me to make a post about movies for next time so you don't end up reading all about the musings of a California credential candidate. Dang. Elections are coming up, too. Why did I waste my time writing about CSETs? Oh yeah. Because the universe is a cruel, cruel mistress.
Friday, October 26, 2012
This Crazy Dream I Had
Of all the crazy dreams I've had for some reason I can't shake the one of my playing piano in Time Square.
Also, I thought this might be a good time to start experimenting with YouTube channels and videos.
I heart NY
A Letter to My Shirt
Dear shirt,
I know it has been a while since we've talked and I'm sorry about that. To be honest, I really miss having you around. I look at old pictures from time to time and see us turning heads and looking awesome together. The hardest part for me is knowing that it wouldn't take much to be back in that place again.
You have a stain.
I know you know that but I can see that it's hard for you to admit it. It doesn't have to be like this. I bought you for a reason. When you are in the condition that you were made to be in--when you're clean and presentable--you are effective and we work well together. But when you've got that gross stain across your front there's not much I can do with you. The stain makes you hardly effective as a shirt at all.
Sure, I could wear you under a sweater and let the collar pop out the top and people might recognize how awesome we look together again but that is not what I bought you for. That's not why I kept you. That's not what you were made for. You were made and bought and washed and kept to make me look good and I can't help but think about your condition. It's keeping you from your only purpose.
It wouldn't be difficult. Sure, you'd have to give up that stain. And why would you keep it? It has ruined you and as long as it remains you remain ineffective. Let me wash you and scrub the spots off. I already have the detergent. There is no stain I cannot get rid of. Please.
Sincerely,
Joel
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Confessions (part 1)
1. When I'm really excited about something and anticipating what's going to happen next (like when someone is telling a really intriguing story that I know is going to end with something hilarious) I hang my mouth open in expectation and involuntarily make seagull noises. I hardly ever notice it but people catch me and make fun of me for it.
2. I like books. Like, a lot. When I was little and I misbehaved (probably only once or twice... probably) my mom would spank me and send me to my room and tell me I couldn't look at any books. The 'no books' part was the worst. I was probably the only boy in the history of childhood who had copies of The Bernstein Bears hidden under his mattress.
3. I think the ultimate job would be a traveling food critic. I mean, c'mon, getting paid to travel to awesome places eating food and then writing about it? Sign me up.
4. I would be the worst food critic in the world. A typical article of mine would be something like: "To put my overall satisfaction of this dish into perspective I would say it was somewhere between re-heated Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Jack-In-The-Box tacos. Also, the stain from the marinara sauce came out of my T-shirt quite easily so no worries there."
5. Some of my favorite possessions: my T-shirts, my books, and my ukulele. Well, that's pretty much all I own anyway.
6. A lot of my dreams are about shortcuts between places. Like when I used to live in San Jose I used to dream a lot that there was some secret orchard that I could enter on the San Jose side and end up in Hilmar. Of course, Hilmar isn't exactly where I wanted to be but it was closer. I guess my dreams are just too realistic. A couple nights ago I dreamed there was a bus-boat (I didn't care that those don't exist) that would pick me up and sail-motor around a corner and I'd be in New York City. I blame Morning Guy for most of my crazy space-time continuum dreams.
7. When I'm sitting down I usually can convince myself that I can do Kung Fu. It's only when I stand up that I realize gravity is a lot heavier than it used to be.
8. I watch more educational videos on YouTube than anyone else you know.
9. I actively try to remember as much as possible.
10. I hate filling out electronic paperwork. Most of things I think I should write in the spaces provided turns out to be wrong. And then when they leave you with no option but the little pull-down menus the thing I'm looking for is never there. And it kills me when I fill it all out and then submit it only to have it be sent back with a message telling me to fix one of the boxes and EVERYTHING ELSE is erased and I have to do it All. Over. Again.
2. I like books. Like, a lot. When I was little and I misbehaved (probably only once or twice... probably) my mom would spank me and send me to my room and tell me I couldn't look at any books. The 'no books' part was the worst. I was probably the only boy in the history of childhood who had copies of The Bernstein Bears hidden under his mattress.
3. I think the ultimate job would be a traveling food critic. I mean, c'mon, getting paid to travel to awesome places eating food and then writing about it? Sign me up.
4. I would be the worst food critic in the world. A typical article of mine would be something like: "To put my overall satisfaction of this dish into perspective I would say it was somewhere between re-heated Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Jack-In-The-Box tacos. Also, the stain from the marinara sauce came out of my T-shirt quite easily so no worries there."
5. Some of my favorite possessions: my T-shirts, my books, and my ukulele. Well, that's pretty much all I own anyway.
6. A lot of my dreams are about shortcuts between places. Like when I used to live in San Jose I used to dream a lot that there was some secret orchard that I could enter on the San Jose side and end up in Hilmar. Of course, Hilmar isn't exactly where I wanted to be but it was closer. I guess my dreams are just too realistic. A couple nights ago I dreamed there was a bus-boat (I didn't care that those don't exist) that would pick me up and sail-motor around a corner and I'd be in New York City. I blame Morning Guy for most of my crazy space-time continuum dreams.
7. When I'm sitting down I usually can convince myself that I can do Kung Fu. It's only when I stand up that I realize gravity is a lot heavier than it used to be.
8. I watch more educational videos on YouTube than anyone else you know.
9. I actively try to remember as much as possible.
10. I hate filling out electronic paperwork. Most of things I think I should write in the spaces provided turns out to be wrong. And then when they leave you with no option but the little pull-down menus the thing I'm looking for is never there. And it kills me when I fill it all out and then submit it only to have it be sent back with a message telling me to fix one of the boxes and EVERYTHING ELSE is erased and I have to do it All. Over. Again.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Creation v. Innovation
Does it require more talent to create or to take what is created and innovate?
Or are innovation and creativity different types of talent?
Is the success of a band based on talent or marketing?
I think that last one is pretty dang obvious.
Is it worth it to destroy something in order to create/innovate?
Sunday, October 14, 2012
The Adventures of Morning Guy (Episode One)
It has become apparent that I have some sort of diminished multiple-personality disorder. I really think we all do. You know, like, you act way different in the morning than you do at lunch time. And by the time things start to wrap up at the end of the day you start acting like you're a much wiser person even though all you did was survive another day.
Anyway, I've realized that my 'Morning Guy' personality (by the way, I don't really think I have a mental disorder; it's just a hook to get you reading this far. Go ahead and hang up the phone, there's no need to call a psychologist or anything) is by far the most entertaining. I mean, he's the type of guy who if you let him pick where we're eating and which movie we're seeing he'd say something like "Man, I really just want a giant box of saltine crackers and some gummy bears. And instead of movies wouldn't it be great if we just tried to see how long we can hold our breath?" The guy's a moron.
Morning Guy typically checks in as soon as night guy brushes his teeth and decides he will be making no more important decisions for the day. This is usually around eleven o'clock. Morning guy sticks around until I've showered, brushed my teeth, and at least looked for something to eat. If one of those things doesn't happen Morning Guy kind of hangs out during the other shifts and tries to help Daytime Guy do complex reasoning but usually comes up with ideas that even Star Trek writers would consider ridiculous. The only time Morning Guy and Evening Guy ever meet is when Evening Guy is done and he holds the door open for Morning Guy (who lives across the street--in a moving van--from wherever the control panel to my thought process is). Morning Guy always says something friendly yet stupid to Evening Guy as he walks in; something like "How's it hangin'" or "What's the good word, brotha?" To this day Evening Guy has never acknowledged Morning Guy's presence. He considers Morning Guy scum and wonders if Morning Guy will ever get his hair cut and find a real job.
Morning Guy doesn't like haircuts.
When I woke up today Morning Guy was flipping random switches in my head and trying to sing all three harmony parts to ABBA's "Mamma Mia!" He kept going on about how we should make a YouTube channel about literature and how everyone in the world would love it and we'd make a ton of money (somehow). In fact, he left a note about it for Daytime Guy but, as always, Daytime Guy read it once and used it to wrap up his gum in before cleaning up the mess Morning Guy made.
Daytime Guy doesn't like Morning Guy very much either. But at least he's nice about it.
Dang. Evening Guy started this blog post but somewhere along the way Morning Guy has hijacked it and made it all about him.
Oh well. Maybe Daytime Guy will fix it tomorrow.
Anyway, I've realized that my 'Morning Guy' personality (by the way, I don't really think I have a mental disorder; it's just a hook to get you reading this far. Go ahead and hang up the phone, there's no need to call a psychologist or anything) is by far the most entertaining. I mean, he's the type of guy who if you let him pick where we're eating and which movie we're seeing he'd say something like "Man, I really just want a giant box of saltine crackers and some gummy bears. And instead of movies wouldn't it be great if we just tried to see how long we can hold our breath?" The guy's a moron.
Morning Guy typically checks in as soon as night guy brushes his teeth and decides he will be making no more important decisions for the day. This is usually around eleven o'clock. Morning guy sticks around until I've showered, brushed my teeth, and at least looked for something to eat. If one of those things doesn't happen Morning Guy kind of hangs out during the other shifts and tries to help Daytime Guy do complex reasoning but usually comes up with ideas that even Star Trek writers would consider ridiculous. The only time Morning Guy and Evening Guy ever meet is when Evening Guy is done and he holds the door open for Morning Guy (who lives across the street--in a moving van--from wherever the control panel to my thought process is). Morning Guy always says something friendly yet stupid to Evening Guy as he walks in; something like "How's it hangin'" or "What's the good word, brotha?" To this day Evening Guy has never acknowledged Morning Guy's presence. He considers Morning Guy scum and wonders if Morning Guy will ever get his hair cut and find a real job.
Morning Guy doesn't like haircuts.
When I woke up today Morning Guy was flipping random switches in my head and trying to sing all three harmony parts to ABBA's "Mamma Mia!" He kept going on about how we should make a YouTube channel about literature and how everyone in the world would love it and we'd make a ton of money (somehow). In fact, he left a note about it for Daytime Guy but, as always, Daytime Guy read it once and used it to wrap up his gum in before cleaning up the mess Morning Guy made.
Daytime Guy doesn't like Morning Guy very much either. But at least he's nice about it.
Dang. Evening Guy started this blog post but somewhere along the way Morning Guy has hijacked it and made it all about him.
Oh well. Maybe Daytime Guy will fix it tomorrow.
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